Death

I have been thinking about death lately. I was actually making love to my wife when I first started thinking about death.

I was making love to my wife. I was above her making that tender love that you make when you love someone like I love my wife. And I had the thought? What if she died right now? What if she expired in my arms right now? What would I do?

Would I… keep going until I cum? And I decided that I would… But only if I was 3… no 5 stokes away.

I think 5 strokes is fine. Anything more than 5 and it’s necrophilia – but I think 5 is completely justifiable.

And I also thought I might do that thing that she said I could do “Over her dead body.”

Because if she dies that would no longer be a warning – at that point it becomes part of her last will and testament. It’s practically a request from a dying woman. And I’d be fine sodomising my dead wife because I’m not scared of death. It doesn’t bother me. Most people are afraid of death.

Except two types. Religious people and suicidal people.

Has anyone reading committed suicide?

No. Is anyone considering it?

That’s good. I’m glad no one is contemplating suicide. Suicidal people are bummers. I have never had an awesome night out with a suicidal person.

Who wants to hang out with some one who drinks all your vodka and take all your pills. It’s selfish.

It’s a selfish thing to commit suicide. I think if you’re going to kill yourself anyway you could give your life to society to use. To benefit society.

As crash test dummies – to test ideas on safety.Or drug testers – to test trial drugs.Or join the British armed forces– to test America’s ideas on foreign policy.

The other lot who are unafraid of death are Religious people. According to them - the good bit of life is death. They have nothing to live for and everything to die for. I don’t get it. I have so many fundamental disagreements with the religious but I guess we have one thing in common.

We are both can’t wait for them to die.

…And go to 'heaven'.

When you go to heaven – do arrive looking like you did when you died? If you die old – do you turn up old? If you die in suicide bombing do you turn up looking like a butchers shop window?

Maybe that’s why the religious are so anti-abortion. Who wants to spend eternity babysitting the unborn children of – teenage sluts?

Like I said though. I’m fine with death. I am pro death. Not for me. But for everyone else. There are too many people in the world.

The only time I’m not surrounded by people is when I am taking a shit. That is the only time I truly have to myself. With my paper pooing. That is the best part of my day. That 25 minutes - in the morning on the tube - magic.

Do we need all these people? I think there needs to be a cull. You’re thinking. I agree. We DO need a cull. We need to kill A LOT of people on earth. You’re thinking what I’m thinking aren’t you. You’re thinking AIDS is GREAT but it’s a bit slow. You’re thinking faster, faster.

But who? Who to Cull?

Poor people. Poor people have shit lives and I think they’d like to be culled. It’s obvious. Harsh? Maybe. But I feel that I can say that because some of my best friends are NOT poor people.

I think we should line up all the poor people and shoot them all in the back of the head. I do.

You’re probably thinking, “Hey. That’s not on. You can’t just choose a group of people and lay blame on them for societies ills - and take them away to a place out of the view of the public and, en mass shoot them!You’re thinking hasn’t history taught you anything?And you’re right of course. History has taught me something.

Gas. I’ll use gas.