I Superpoked Osama Bin Laden

Everyone is on Facebook. Everyone!

The other day I typed in Osama Bin Laden and there he was. The CIA are slow with this digital age stuff. So I find Bin Laden (in 10 fucking minutes) and I send him a message:

Ozzie!

Hey what’s happening? Boy is everyone pissed at you (especially the people who make Jenga )! People say that blowing up those building was a bit on the heavy-handed side but, you know, I’m not into judgement (no one’s perfect) so I won’t stir up some old shit.

 I’ll tell you though, there are a lot of haters around that say that you didn’t even do it. The web is filled with peeps that are saying that Bush and his boys did it so that they could go get the oil out of Iraq. It might be an idea to knock those rumours on the head, man. You gotta squash that shit early – look what happened with Nas and Jigga! Almost two more dead rappers in the street. Why don’t you Skype someone and speak ya clout?

 Either.

“Nah man – that shit wasn’t on me.”

Or

“Hells yeah! We don’t need no water let the mother fucker burn!”

 Anyway, how’s Pakistan? Did you guys see Slumdog or did you flat-out boycott it because the whole India thing? See that’s what I mean about beef. It makes you miss out on some good shit! New York for example is FUN. A super great place to go and chill and now you kind of wrecked your chances there and NY got some of the hottest ladies in the world! But I bet you get lots of girls, right? Serious though – how do you tell them apart with those dresses on, man?  Do you just wait for them to speak or can you tell by their walks? Also, in your crib, how do you know if you got a picture of the right girl on the wall?

Aiight man – I gotta go my supervisor is mad nosey, man and he don't like me being on the Facebook too damn much when I'm at work "These orders aint gonna Process themselves, Geoff." He a bitch!

Hit me up!

Oliver