The London Underground is a fucking hell-hole where people forget they are human and become animals that would gladly stamp on the skull of a kitten to get on a train. It is an exercise in turning OFF akin to being a trafficked child prostitute encamped in Turkish bricklayers camp. We look into middle space and think of something we'd rather be doing (eating a plate of baby shit mixed with burned hair), or worse, we read the Metro.
Agreed? Good.
One of the things I thought about whilst journeying one day was all the different places one can travel while in the train carriage and then I decided to rank them. The best place you can sit – to the worst place to stand.
1. Sitting against the glass partition. So one can lean on the glass.
2. A seat.
3. The leaner at the end of the carriage.
4. Standing by the middle doors leaning on a pole.
5. Standing in the middle of the aisle - in front of where people sit.
6. Standing at the ends of the carriage.
I hope this clears things up for you all and if we see each other on the tube and we have our headphones in lets just agree not to talk to each other and just get through the trip as fast and as painlessly as allowed.
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